


Of Rabbits and Men

by Anonymous



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, Deliberate Badfic, M/M, Magic, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Other, Rabbits, asexual Stannis if u squint lol, badfic, davos and Stannis are husbands!!, jon is super cute but also scary??? You'll see lol, not very nice to melly, transformations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stannibs is the best king but then he becomes a Flemish giant rabbit and it really scares Jon and Davos and they have to do something about it! </p><p>Just some crack I wrote on my phone this morning lol.</p><p>Contains boys in love don't like don't read may add more lemon chapters if I get enough reviews so please tell me if you LOVE it thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Rabbits and Men

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by one of my fave classic authors, Ernest Hemingway <3

stannibs had not been a myrish giant rabbit for very long when davos came by.

“your like tyrion, only furrier!” he exclaimed looking into the bald king’s beautiful blue orbs shining with unshed tears of frustration.

he opened his mouth to cry but could only produce a muffled squawk of indignantion. tyroin was not the rightful king of the seven kingdoms.

“your not either anymore” jon snow had arrived looking super kawaii behind a curtain of greasy black hair. davos gasped and took 1.66 steps back in alarm.

“lord snow! you dont belong here.”

“how else are you gonna know what he says?” as davos blinked tears of sorrow for his lost king out of his eyes jon said more, “melly made me able to hear the rabbits speak when she rebirthed me.”

for you see, this was UNDEAD! jon snow ALL ALONG, and he opened his gaping maw and there were only the fierce fangs of a wild wererabbit. davos screamed for two minutes straight while stannibs hopped around trying to get closer to jon’s delicious feral scent of maleness which was suddenly overwhelming the furry crowned one. he had to know so he thought really loudly.

“no i am not dating melly, she is really red” jon answered the rabbit king in his most brightest voice. “also a woman and she doesnt have nipples on her breastplate.”

“stannibs is MINE” davos screamed kicking his feet through the snow. his disembodied fingers floated in midair. “u can’t have him.”

jons face was really red and bursting with sweat. in his britches he could feel his cock turning extremely hard at davos’s dulcet tones while his eyes continued to shine a beautiful bright green (like ned stark’s eyes, since ned stark was his IRL father).

“but its you i want davos”

stnanibs started to cry real rabbit tears of frustration as the beautiful bishie wererabbit went to grab the grizzled smuggler’s elegantly mangled hands, hands which stannibs had known on his own turgid member many a night in the cold when there had been only there sweet bad boys’ love to fight the cold.

“i can’t leave stannibs, he is my true love you see”

“its okay, we can all three be in love if you like,” jon snow grinned hugely showing his teeth which were becoming unpointy as the rabbit king and the handsome grizzled smuggler watched. “eegreet taught me that all love is good and the more the better. we wont get bored like those with monosexual privilege we will all be together oh!”

for his teeth were now normal again and so very handsome davos felt his face twitching almost as hard as his cock with the need to tough the beautiful man in front of him.

“you see the polyamory has cured me! i am not a monster anymore!” jon snows voice was extremely excited now and davos was crying with amazement at what the old gods had wrought this very day in front of him.

“but what about stannibs?” davos blurted smiling worriedly at the rabbit king now running in circles around their feet.

“if you kiss him maybe he will turn back”

“i cant kiss a rabbit its against the gods even the red one”

“then ill do it to prove my love to him”

and jon snow picked up the myrish giant rabbit ignoring the pounding of its feet against his stomach and kissed its nose.

stannibs screamed as he started to be born again and then shut his mouth when he began to remember all the problems of the kingdom he couldnt forget since davos had shown him where his true fight lay beyond the wall.

“your grace” davos whispered orbs shining. “i love you your grace and now you are a man again to be with us!”

stannibs lay looking at the snow beneath him embarrassed because he was naked but not able to do anything about it as it wasnt very kingly to point that out.

“i really dont love melly your grace i want to be with you” jon snow whispered into the night settling around them since the 5 minutes of winter (A/N: its winter now this is TWOW timeline) sun was gone again “all winter long and we will fight the others with davos because a threesome is amazing your grace”

davos snarked something very witty at this and jon snow laughed and stannis gave the shadow of a smile as his grizzled face accepted his fate was now to be with these two beautiful men who loved him very much.

“lets go kick the asses of the others”

davos smiled at his king and jon snow kissed stannis’s weatherbeaten lips and they walked into the sunset towards the others.

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! It's all of them lol I love them so much I couldn't resist hopefully u will also see the OT3 now. No flames please lol it was just a social experiment TBH.
> 
> Also the no caps are a deliberate aesthetic choice, all flames about them will be deleted.


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